Whether shared privately or declared in front of everyone at the altar, do not disregard the importance of your vows.
If you’re like most people, a task that requires a lot of thought and effort is sometimes left for tomorrow. And when tomorrow is your wedding day, it may be too late.
The truth is, you don’t have to be Shakespeare or Byron to share a powerful heartfelt proclamation of your love and devotion. All you have to be is you.
These 7 tips are here to help you delve beneath the layers, so you can fully tap into how you really feel. Fully access all that hope, love, and joy, and pour it into your wedding vows.
1. Start Writing Your Vows Early
How early? Start now.
If you journal regularly, spend about ten minutes of your journaling time focusing on your vows.
If journaling is not part of your regular routine, grab a notebook, and schedule times to work on your vows. It could be 10-minutes a day or a few times a week in the months leading up to your big day.
2. Free Write Your Feelings
Just let whatever’s inside spill out, unencumbered by judgment.
Free write your feelings as you ruminate about where you are—all the experiences you’ve had—all the things you’ve navigated that have made you stronger.
At this point, don’t worry about sounding good or editing yourself. You want to tap into those deeper feelings without being hindered or silenced by your inner critic.
3. Share Your Hopes and Promises
Think about the future: how will you show up for your partner? How will you work with them to overcome challenges, to remain a team, and to love them for who they are, even when things are tough?
What are your hopes and dreams for married life and your forever, together?
If you sink into this and really allow yourself to dream, you may find that what comes out emerges from a deeper part of yourself.
4. Share What You’re Grateful For
Think of all the ways your partner supported you, all the ways they showed up for you. Provide examples, if any stick out.
There’s a reason you’re standing with this person in front of all the people you love looking jaw-droppingly gorgeous beside your bridesmaids—beautiful in their Bella Bridesmaids gowns. Vowing to spend the rest of your life with this incredibly special person.
This is a colossal moment. Don’t be shy about expressing why they’re the one.
5. Be Yourself
If you speak like a Millennial or true Gen Z’er, people may be confused if you recite your vows in Olde English—or any other manner that doesn’t sound like you.
If you’re prone to humor, it’s totally fine to weave some into your vows. People love things that make them laugh or feel some type of way—if you can get them laughing one moment and blinking away tears the next, you’ve hit the jackpot.
6. Keep it Short and Sweet
We all know there are countless ways there are to tell someone you love them. However, the key here is to keep it short and sweet. You’ve got rings to exchange, after all. Keep your vows to around 200 to 400 words; one to four minutes is the sweet spot.
Once you feel you’ve gotten it all out with your freewriting, go over what you’ve created and highlight the points that stick out. Re-work and rephrase the lines you really like..
One of the key elements of good writing is to show, not tell. If there are any examples of how you knew they were the one, it’s okay to provide the juicy details.
For those who aren’t too fond of writing, there are plenty of free AI driven tools like Grammarly that can help. Just remember they are tools—don’t let them override your unique voice.
Once you’ve finalized your vows, run them by a few close friends for feedback.
7. Practice Reciting Your Vows Beforehand
Please! Practice saying the vows before you’re up there in front of everyone. This allows you to get used to reciting them: to make sure they’re worded correctly, flow well, and work overall.
Recording yourself reciting them is another way to help you practice, and can provide some helpful insight—once you get past the sound of your own voice.
Conclusion:
By tapping into the emotion and experience of what it feels like to have finally met the one, you can’t go wrong.
Grab a pen and paper, and start weaving those feelings into what you’ve experienced, what you hope to share together, and all the ways you’ll be there for your one true love along the way.
